Parental kidnapping is when one parent illegally takes a child in violation of a court order. When non-custodial parents resort to parental kidnapping, they believe they are acting in the best interests of their children. Parents find a myriad of reasons or justifications for stealing a child from another parent. In some cases, the act occurs immediately after custody is awarded to the other parent; in others, abductors find fault with the other parent for nonsensical transgressions. The University of Maryland released a study and found that in more than 80 percent of the cases, anger was the prevailing motive for parental abductions.

Occasionally, judges do make mistakes and give custody to an unfit parent, or award unsupervised visitation, even if the parent is dangerous and has a history of problems. Parents unhappy with their arrangement should consult a lawyer and go to court to argue the need to modify their case rather than to try the system themselves.

Barring a 24-hour bodyguard, there is no way to thwart your spouse from stealing your child. You can and should, however, take preventive measures which may discourage your spouse or, at least, give you leverage with police and the courts if your spouse goes ahead with their plan. 

These ideas are what you need to know to be in the best position possible:

• It is crucial that you have a clear, recent photograph of the child. With a young child, a school picture taken in the fall may not be sufficient in the spring or summer. Likewise, a list of distinguishing marks such as scars and birthmarks (or tattoos) is essential. You should have an up-to-date notation of height and weight of the child and a full-body photograph. Many police departments offer fingerprinting for children. As basic as it seems, you should know the social security number of the child and the other parent.
  
  
• If possible, you should keep a list of the names and last known telephone numbers and addresses of family members and friends of the other parent who might provide assistance to the abducting parent or your client in the event of a kidnapping. In addition, if anyone outside of the family has shown an increased or unusual interest in the child, you should keep note of that person’s identifying information (name, address, appearance).
  
  
• In every case in which you have a concern about kidnapping, contact the United States State Department to “flag” the child’s passport. 

While severe, parental kidnapping isn’t always as severe as it sounds. The simplest kidnapping is a refusal to return the child after scheduled visitation or temporary visitation. You know where the child is, but the other parent refuses to return the child. If it is during the school year and the child goes to school, you should pick up the child with or without the police and proceed to court to obtain a court order. Of course, this also constitutes contempt, because the failure or refusal to return a child at the end of court-ordered visitation or temporary custody warrants a right to file a Complaint for Contempt.

If the situation is worse than you thought could have ever been, consider the following:

1.  Hire a lawyer and get legal custody of your child – whether it is temporary or permanent.

2.  Think about getting counseling to work out differences with your former spouse.

3.  File a report with the local police stating the threats your spouse has made.

4.  Warn your children.

5.  Leave your custody order at your child’s school, day care center, camp, or with babysitters or after-school instructors.

6.  Stay on good terms with your in-laws.

Being proactive is a key component in parental kidnapping cases.  The attorneys in our Southern Massachusetts/Cape Cod offices suggest that you consider these provisions in your parenting plan:

• The exact times your former spouse will spend time with your child.
  
  
• A clause requiring your ex-spouse to get the court’s permission before moving out of state with your child.
  
  
• A stipulation prohibiting your ex-spouse from leaving the state without the consent of a judge or you, the custodial parent.

There are preventive tactics you can take. Most important, get your child a passport and keep it. That will force your ex-spouse to obtain a phony passport, which they may find too difficult or risky to do.