Based on who was awarded primary custody the children, it’s likely that the non-custodial parent will decide, eventually, they want to modify or change the agreement. Perhaps your former spouse was not set up to take the children at the time of the divorce; they might have had a demanding or inflexible job, or unsuitable living accommodations. Now he or she has remarried, has more flexibility with work, or found a better place to live. Your teenager may have decided that the other parent is more relaxed and that they would rather live with that other parent. Maybe your ex-spouse has also come to the same conclusion as well.

The courts have the authority to change a custody agreement when needs change – yours, your children’s, or your ex-spouse’s. In Massachusetts, however, to modify custody, you must prove a change in circumstances that is in the best interest of the child.

Judges usually look favorably on a Complaint for Modification relating to a change in custody when the needs of the child change, such as when they grow older and the situation no longer seems to be working for them. Sometimes there is a negative reason for seeking the modification: A parent may be abusing alcohol or neglecting the children under their care, or a child that has been a straight A or B student may suddenly start getting Ds and Fs. The circumstances must arise out of actual, verifiable events and can’t be simply because you are not happy with your parenting schedule or think your ex-spouse is not acting like the parent you want them to be.

Quite often, our lawyers are asked the question, “What might convince the court?” The most common reasons parents give for changing or terminating an arrangement is that one parent wants to move. You might be able to argue successfully that you should prevail on a removal case.

Any change in lifestyle that is detrimental to the children would also be a reason to alter a custody arrangement. Let’s say your ex-spouse begins to drink or take drugs. You might notice at pick-up or drop-off that he or she is driving under the influence. That would constitute grounds for changing the plan.

If your former spouse begins to leave your children with their new partner, with neighbors, or alone, instead of spending time with them, this could also be the basis for a changed circumstances argument. 

If a new boyfriend or girlfriend moves in with your former spouse and you think that is setting a bad example for your children, you may be able to cut out their overnight stays, but don’t count on terminating all visitation. In Massachusetts, some judges are not fazed by cohabitation, although others view it as grounds for modification.

Your child’s desire to move in with the noncustodial parent is another reason for a change of the agreement. This may be a legitimate reason to change custody, but only if it does not look as if there was pressure from the noncustodial parent.

If you honestly suspect physical or sexual abuse of your children, the courts will treat your allegations seriously. Even if your children may be too young to testify, the judge will appoint a Guardian Ad Litem or call mental health professionals to get involved with the case.

Just as some fathers threaten to seek custody if their ex-wives ask for more child support, some mothers charge their ex-husbands with physical or sexual abuse of their children to deprive them of time with the kids. When these claims are false everyone suffers and you could lose custody.

The Massachusetts Family Law Group is a statewide network of divorce law offices and family law attorneys dedicated to defending the legal rights of men and women relating to their domestic relations matter. 

Each of our six offices across Massachusetts offers no-obligation consultations starting at 5am during the week and all weekend long. 

Call (800) 910-DIVORCE or contact us for an appointment in Springfield, Worcester, Norwood, Andover, Plymouth or on Cape Cod.